Kasab and Afzal off to the US to provide cheap labor

India and Indians have been for numerous years hosting a number of terrorists in their prisons, feeding them biryani and desi beer, and providing ample supply of Bollywood movies and dancing girls to keep these prisoners gainfully occupied. But enough is enough, says the Indian public. With majority of Indians not being able to afford even one decent meal, or snack, per day, it seems cruel to be hosting and feasting these one-man demolition squads that massacre hundreds of innocent civilians in the name of God and Peace on monthly basis.

The solution to this long drawn problem has come from none other than the US government (since the GOI is incapable of thinking and regularly outsources ‘thinking’ to China). The US Department of Labor has put in an official request to GOI to ship terrorist-prisoners from India, after these prisoners were observed to be languishing idly in the Indian prisons, either twiddling their thumbs in endless boredom or attempting to provoke the prison authorities, for want of something to do, by passing unkind and insensitive comments on the day’s menu.

The decision was made after the US government saw videos of India’s two most famous terrorist-prisoners, Afzal Guru and Kasab, looking fit and muscular, and throwing banana peels at the prison guards for amusement. In fact, one American official was overheard remarking in great admiration that the rippling muscles of Kasab were nothing like he had ever seen in the US prisons. The overwhelmed official said that the two inmates could very easily accomplish what ten American prisoners typically do in one day. Each of these terrorist prisoners would be assigned the task of building everyday anything from a dozen lounge chairs and three rocking chairs (the kind Americans in  Midwest and South typically have on their porch to while away the sunny afternoons) to fixing the heads on hundred Barbie dolls, said the official under condition of anonymity.

In exchange for these terrorist-prisoners, the American government has promised India a call-centre. When the memorandum of understanding for the terrorist-prisoners and call-centre exchange program is signed, India will get one call centre for every 100 muscular terrorist-prisoners shipped to the US every month, for the next two years. However, a number of Indian activists have protested against this exchange, terming it imbalanced and unfair to India, because India would get only one call centre for every 100 prisoners shipped per month, every two years. The Indian government has refused to do the Maths, saying the effort makes its head spin. But the US government has assured India that after the initial two year period, the contract will come up for revision. There would be no reason why India should not get one call centre for 100 terrorist-prisoners shipped per month every year, if the Indian government provides consistently high quality shipment, said an American official speaking on condition of anonymity. But the socialites have protested again saying that this tricky clause has been introduced by the ‘cunning Americans knowing fully well that Indian products are never of consistently high quality.’  

The terrorist-prisoners will be sent to the US on Hollandaise, an ocean liner from one of America’s closest ally in Europe. The company that owns the ocean liner has been awarded an annual contract by the American government to transport the terrorist-prisoners from various developing countries to the US. The company has had a long history of transporting slave labor from the African continent to the New Worlds, and is fully equipped to do the job effectively and efficiently, according to the company spokesperson, Mr Fun deer Meer.

The exchange program comes in the wake of a report recently released: Locking Down an American Workforce: Prison Labor as the Past and Future of American“Free-Market” Capitalism, by Steve Fraser and Joshua B. Freeman. According to the report:

"Prisoners, whose ranks increasingly consist of those for whom the legitimate economy has found no use, now make up a virtual brigade within the reserve army of the unemployed whose ranks have ballooned along with the U.S. incarceration rate.  The Corrections Corporation of America and GEO, two prison privatizers, along with a third smaller operator, G4S (formerly Wackenhut), sell inmate labor at subminimum wages to Fortune 500 corporations like Chevron, Bank of America, AT&T, and IBM.

 These companies can, in most states, lease factories in prisons or prisoners to work on the outside.  All told, nearly a million prisoners are now making office furniture, working in call centres, fabricating body armor, taking hotel reservations, working in slaughterhouses, or manufacturing textiles, shoes, and clothing, while getting paid somewhere between 93 cents and $4.73 per day….”

http://www.tomdispatch.com/post/175531/tomgram%3A_fraser_and_freeman%2C_creating_a_prison-corporate_complex/?utm_source=TomDispatch&utm_campaign=118f67b576-TD_Fraser_Freeman4_19_2012&utm_medium=email#more

There is no sound more amusing than the wailing of the DMK leader

According to the news item from Deccan Chronicle on June 11, 2011:

DMK has its roots in the self-respect movement; but now it seems that it has lost all its self-respect in the UPA.’ The question, posed by a reporter at the media interaction after the party’s high-level committee meet, described in a nutshell party president M. Karunanidhi poor predicament at this moment —rout in elections, daughter in jail and a belligerent rival in the chief minister’s chair ordering probe into his pet Assembly project.

And when cornered in such situations, the DMK patriarch invariably resorted to what always seemed to him as the easiest escape route — Brahmin bashing. Did the spectrum scam cause the DMK defeat in the polls, asked a scribe. "It’s not spectrum that defeated the DMK in the elections; it’s due to attempts by some Brahmins," was the bitter reply..

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/channels/nation/south/brahmins-caused-dmk-defeat-says-karunanidhi-640&t=AIBHSMN1j4W3Z6VcRsjmnJZ3dreX41EryRVF6BHPOhTLLepkcou6qJpV89btnA5JBcIcq4CgFTjFWubyjMexdr4Egu0z4qwcLwAAAAAAAAAA

[An elderly man in dark glasses sits hunched over in bitterness and frustration, muttering to himself. The mega-crore family empire that he had built with his own bare 'hands, by sticking out his palms to be greased in every business and political deal, from scratch was crumbling all around him, no thanks to that one persistent brahmin, Dr. S Swamy.]

"The nuisance, why can't he mind his own business, and allow my family to milk the people of Tamil Nadu, and the nation, of their meagre wealth in peace. Scum! How dare he do that to me and my family. I spent my entire life, amassing a large fortune, unimaginable to ordinary Indians, and building one of the largest empires in India, on black money alone, so that my family for the next five generations will never have to work and still have anything in this world they please with a snap of their fingers. Now see what has happened..in old age, when one should be allowed to live the remainder of life counting the number of vaults one has built over the years, I am forced to surrender some of it! All because of that one interfering, self-righteous brahmin.

Why can't this brahmin be more like Ravana? Why must he act like Rama, that engineering graduate who built that bridge? Rama is not even a brahmin! Had this brahmin been like Ravana instead of Rama, I could have paid him off in money. Or perhaps even gifted him a wife - I possess a large number, just like the vaults, and I'd be pleased to part with one...no, no, I don't mean the vault. Or if he prefers, I could get him one custom made...my dravida party workers can do wonders without even uttering any God's name. [says with pride]

But no! Instead, what does that annoying man do? Sings..sings loudly and clearly like a canary, and exposes me and my family, every inch of us, to the public. The nuisance! [..now wailing loudly and rocking back and forth....] Where is Ravana when you need him? Ai..ai..yooo, where is he?"

YSR dies in a helicopter crash...and raises a few questions

The abrupt death of YSR in a helicopter crash curiously parallels the death of many congress politicians in the past. Madhavrao Scindia, Rajesh Pilot, Sanjay Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi, and Priyanka Gandhi's husband Robert Vadra's own brother, sister and father are some of the names that come to mind.

Madhavrao Scindia and Sanjay Gandhi died in airplane crashes, while Rajesh Pilot and Robert Vadra's brother and sister died in bizarre 'accidents,' while Robert's father allegedly commited suicide (Robert Vadra's European mother seems to have somehow escaped the family jinx). Rajiv Gandhi of course was assassinated in full public view by a LTTE suicide bomber, so what happened to him is not exactly a mystery, but who else were involved still continues to be a big one to this date.

Curiously, what was YSR doing near a forested region? What was this secretive mission he was undertaking? Is it possible that he was on some mission to work out a secret deal with the Naxalites to further the interests of the current regime and the Americans. After all, it would not be the first time the christians in a country have collaborated with communists or maoists or other militants to further their own interests.

Is this why the US government immediately steps in with an offer to help find YSR when his helicopter went down? There have been countless number of Indian politicians, public figures and personalities in the past that have met with accidents or were struck down by some calamity or the other, and yet there has never been such immediate offers for help from the US embassy in India. Why so in the case of YSR?

Could it be because he was considered a critical vital part in what is seen as the current regime's, and the US's, grand design to christianize India, destabilize the country, and expand and strengthen their political and economic interests in the country? Could it be that he was carrying some important documents with him that might reveal all, which the Americans are keen to get their hands on before the Indian search party does?

As for the misfortune itself, could it be that he was posing too much of challenge to someone in the current regime, or in other words, becoming too important or big for his own good...Or was it merely a freak accident, a sudden mechanical failure of some sort that put an end to the politician's burgeoning career.

The incident is a mystery that needs unraveling. The Indian public deserves to know the truth about what happened to one of its politicians who goes wandering off into the forest one fine day and doesn't return home.

Sonia says "India facing threats from Indians." Who are these Indians, Sonia?

Sonia Gandhi is reported to have said (as per the media reports on April 13 2009) that India faces greater threat from Indians from within the country than from foreign elements entering the country. Who could she have been possibly referring to in this announcement? Many of her political adversaries such as L K Advani were incensed by her insinuation that the RSS, BJP and the VHP are threats to India.

However, before more of Sonia Gandhi's critics jump at her for her seemingly perverse revelation, let us examine her statement with equanimity and patience. Many straight away assume that she was referring to her greatest political adversaries, including those indefatigable old timers, who, with irksome defiance that is so uncharacteristic of the normally submissive and cooperative native, constantly sound off in some off-beat press on her national policies (or lack of it), her social, political, economic and defense views (or lack of it), her standoffish attitudes toward Indians, her link to various corruption scandals, and her relentless pursuit to promote her dynasty. These old thorns in her political career, checkered as the career might have been, have given her nothing but grief. With the tenacity characteristic of the Leech of the Annelid phylum, they obstructed her repeated attempts to foist one family member or another on to the PM seat. Who else could they be but the RSS, BJP and VHP! Every Indian knows that, right from the 10 year old standing swinging a cricket bat carelessly in the middle of the street to that centenarian on the brink of bidding farewell to the world. It is a trivia question that never fails to score.

But wait, let us pause for a minute here, and reflect. Deeply. Was she really referring to her well-known political adversaries as the biggest threat to India. Or was she merely pointing out the obvious. Let us for a minute go down another path of rumination, just for mental exercise, and see where it leads.

There are two other possibilities as to whom Sonia Gandhi was referring when she spoke on internal threats.

First, she could have meant that the threat was not from the Muslims from across the border, as many naive Indians would continue to believe, but from within India. The Indian Muslims! Of course! Isn't this what the BJP, VHP and RSS, and defense analysts have maintained all along. Especially in the last six years, when terrorism escalated throughout the country. And even more so when the Muslim terrorists from Pakistan seized the city of Mumbai in November 2008 and went on a killing rampage that left more than 100 civilians dead. Even those national English dailies that are normally preoccupied with canvassing on behalf of the dynasty were willing to consider the angle that the Pakistani terrorists in the November 2008 attacks had inside help.

Despite the obvious, after every terrorist attack, the Congress party had insisted that the perpetrators were all foreigners. And now, after years of being a mute spectator to the blasts that shook the nation from time to time, and after her protege Prime Minister Singh went on record for stating that Indian Muslims will have the first stake on India's resources, is Sonia Gandhi finally admitting, on the eve of the Indian elections in 2009, that the greatest threat to India is not from Pakistanis and Bangladeshi crossing the borders into India daily by the dozens, but from the Indians (Muslims) themselves?

If this indeed was the point she was making, so many of her critics have tragically misjudged her. Why throw eggs at the lady for telling it like it is? She has finally come around to openly admitting in public what her political adversaries and defense experts have suggested all along . With this admission, she has possibly successfully managed to bridge the gap between her own political party and the rest n the issue of national defense and security. Instead of attacking her candidness, all political parties should commend her for her new found honesty and openness. She is truly on her way to becoming an Indian, after all.

There is the second possibility that she might have be referring to the Hindus that revolt against the christian missionaries from the west, who filter through the porous borders daily with the ease of circular migrants. In her view, these missionaries are clearly the do-gooders who are intent on showing the light to the natives living in darkness. They come all the way from those faraway lands of surpluses, to feed and clothe the hungry and deprived, and educate them on the Bible. Yet, how do these natives repay them? By throwing the Bible back at them, and claiming that they, not the missionaries, will help their own kind, thank you very much! The ingrates! These rebellious natives maintain that they want their temples, and not churches. To understand the soul, they want to read the Vedas and the Gita, and not the Bible. They insist on holding on to the rituals and customs grounded in their Vedic past, and drawing inspiration from the stories invested in the Puranas, instead of the New Testament, and imbibing a sense of history from the Mahabharata and Ramayana instead of the Roman empire. They refuse to appreciate the historical contributions of the Roman crusaders in altering the religio-political map of the world; they refuse to admire the Christian's views on justice and morality; they refuse to submit to the Pope's authority; and they simply will not recognize the significance of the church's grand plans for altering the world's religious, political and economic structures.

Are these unyielding natives not the greatest threat to the martyrs from the west? These martyrs who readily sacrifice their time and physical comforts to fly down to the semi-dark continent to shine their light on it. These ingrates who resolutely refuse to sell their land, their religion, their culture, and their soul to the foreigners. These stubborn natives that refuse to adopt and adapt! Are these regid natives not the greater threat to India than foreigners!

To add insult to injury, if it had not been for these willful Indians, Sonia Gandhi knows she would have become the PM first time around, without the need of appointing an interim Marionette and manipulating his every move. But for these defying Indians, there would have been virtually no resistance to her becoming the PM - absolutely no fight. These implacable Indians are, without question, the greatest threat to India!

Deaths in the family - Italian style

What do Rajesh Pilot, Jitendra Prasad, Madhavrao Scindia, Sanjay Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi,Rajinder Vadra, Richard Vadra, and Michelle Vadra all have in common? They were all connected in one way or another with Sonia Gandhi (known also as Antonia Maino), the chairman of the Indian National Congress party, and the Maino family (her parents and siblings), and they all died prematurely.The mysterious circumstances revolving around the deaths of the first five have been the subject of speculation for many years now. There are still many unanswered questions regarding what happened on the fateful day each met with Death, and why and how. It would seem that all of them had some falling out with Sonia Gandhi and the Maino family, or were being seen as a problem politically by the latter two.

The most recent string of deaths has been in the family of Robert Vadra, Sonia Gandhi's son-in-law. The latest victim in the series of unexpected deaths is Rajinder Vadra, the father of Robert Vadra. It would seem that, in the last few years prior to his death, he was increasingly becoming difficult for the Sonia Gandhi family. His alleged financial ventures using Sonia Gandhi's name, and his increasing hostility towards Sonia Gandhi, was proving to be one sore spot in Sonia Gandhi's otherwise meticulously planned, managed and staged operations to dominate the Indian politics. Rajinder Vadra was found hanging from the ceiling, and his death was declared as 'suicide.' Some years earlier, his other son, Richard Vadra, known to be close to his father and estranged from his younger brother Robert Vadra, was also found dead. The verdict at that time too was 'suicide.' Robert's only sister, Michelle, was killed in a car accident in 2001.

The entire Rajinder Vadra family, except for the European mother, who was personally known to the Quattrocchi family, and seems to have made an exit from the Rajinder household with a divorce, and Robert Vadra, son-in-law of Sonia Gandhi, has been eliminated. It is possible that these three persons, estranged from Robert Vadra, were perceived as 'inconvenient' and possible hindrance to Sonia Gandhi's grand plan to dominate and control the Indian politics, and through it the nation's economic, defense, and social spheres.

Currently, the only survivor of the Rajinder clan is Robert Vadra, Priyanka's husband. He has been drawn into the 'Maino family.' But one can't help wondering for how long. That there was a growing rift between Rajiv Gandhi and Sonia Gandhi prior to Rajiv's assassination was apparently known in the inner circles, and his assassination, before the rift was made known in public, would have been quite 'convenient' for the Mainos.

Robert Vadra has so far served useful to the Maino family. Being exempted from security checks at any Indian airport means Robert Vadra is able to walk in and out of domestic airports freely, like a personal courier, carrying any amounts of cash or assets that Sonia Gandhi or the Maino family might want him to transport on their behalf. He also probably undertakes any responsibility assigned to him by the family, without asking any questions.

Enough about Sonia Gandhi and the Maino family. Lets move on to discussing a fiction I just read. The novel is about a man married into The Family. The final scene in the last chapter goes something like this:

The man stands alone in the study looking out the window into the evening sky. The yard in front of him is bathed in the light of the setting sun, and filled with memories. His children are playing in the yard. They look up and see him standing by the window. They laugh and wave at him, and he smiles and waves back. His eyes mist over suddenly, as his gaze follows their little game of tag around the yard. He is wondering how long he will be seen as useful by The Family. The matriarch seems to have managed perfectly fine without the husband. There is no reason to doubt that her daughter also will not be able to manage without her husband, should it come to that in future. The woman has what he, the husband, doesn't really have and will probably never have - the support of The Family. His lifeline is tied to how much goodwill he can generate from the wife, and The Family, and how long he can sustain it. He can't help but wonder,as he stands alone and reflects on his past - on all the good times he had with his own family, his father and siblings gathered around him in laughter and fun - whether this has been worth the sacrifices. He knows he's alone, totally alone. His entry into The Family has changed his life forever. Everything that at one point he held sacred and close to him has been destroyed, and the blood ties connecting him with his father and his siblings have been severed completely and irrevocably.

As the reader leaves the man to his thoughts, he doesn't envy the man one bit. The reader can only feel sorry for him. The reader can hope that this solitary figure will live long enough to tell his tale.


References

http://www.janataparty.org/soniaisthemodern.html
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/News/PoliticsNation/Priyankas-father-in-law-hanged-himself-Police-sources/articleshow/4356659.cms
http://us.rediff.com/news/2002/jan/20inter.htm
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/191362.cms
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Vadra
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1381441.cms
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priyanka_Gandhi

The Indian slum wins, again!

Yet another movie made about India by a western film-maker. This one of course wins an award: - if my memory serves me right, and the western news channel that I sometimes watch has got it right (they don't often get it right, especially social and political news concerning 'exotic' countries), the award was the "Golden Globe."

In what category did this particular movie win? There! you got me! This I can't say - the news channel I happened to be watching at that particular moment ran through the list of winners, and soon after, I entered a narcolpetic state and revived just in time to hear that a certain movie called the 'Slumdog Millionaire' had won the award under a 'certain' category.

Apparently Mr. Amitabh Bachchan, the noted Bollywood actor, and who is considered by some in India as an Indian relic far more valuable than a pottery or sculptor excavated from the Mohenjo Daro site, rankled quite a few nerves by criticising the Slumdog Milionaire's (henceforth referred to as 'Slum' ) win in his blog. How do I know this? Because it said so in the Times of India (TOI), January 14, 2009. And who would know the Bollywood and Hollywood news better than the TOI.

There are many newspapers and news channels in India that hold distinction in specific categories - just like there are so many categories under which a movie can win a Golden Globe or the Oscars. I peruse these channels for their specific strengths. For example, when its a Sunday, and I'm feeling particularly Christian, and would like to take a swipe at other faiths, I visit the CNN-IBN. When its news on how India's elitist are entertaining themselves, and whether the Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie is planning to eject another child out into this already resource-starved planet, its the TOI. When I want to irrate the spouse with hysterical, high-pitched, ear-grating sounds, that sound like something emitted from a far-away galaxy, I switch to Barkha Dutt from the NDTV.

But I digress. Back to Mr. B's criticisms, purported to be in his blog, as reported by TOI. [No one can say that I haven't given due credit to the sources].

If 'Slumdog Millionaire' projects India as Third World dirty underbelly developing nation and causes pain and disgust among nationalists and patriots, let it be known that a murky underbelly exists and thrives even in the most developed nations," Amitabh said in a posting on his blog on Wednesday from Paris, France. "It's just that the 'Slumdog Millioanire' idea authored by an Indian and conceived and cinematically put together by a westerner, gets creative global recognition," he added.

There have been overwhelming response from the TOI readers to his comments. Well, to the many that defend 'Slumdog Millionaire' and attack Mr. B's criticisms, on the grounds that the 'bad and bleak' exist in Mumbai and thus deserve to be exposed to the outside world, I say, the 'good and bright' also exist in Mumbai (and whole of India), but how come these NEVER get portrayed by western film-makers? Every western film-maker is only interested in typecasting India, and the Indian, in a narrowly constrained role - perpetually one of the lovable Beggar! I'm frankly tired of this rehashing of the same (exotic, poverty) 'junk' by western film-makers. The western film industry has been doing this for the last 50 years, and shows no sign of abating. Can we now see some real creativity from the western film-makers please?

It's no wonder I stick mostly to watching Cary Grant, Rock Hudson & Doris Day movies from the fifties and sixties from Hollywood. At least, no one can say these movies were made deliberately with one eye on an award. They were simply good old fashioned entertainment that, none too surprisingly, continue to survive to this day, and end up as collector's item on every movie buff's shelf. Despite all the 'slumdogs' surrounding these classics, and inspite of them.

My consolation is that, a few years from now, no one will ever know, or remember, or care about the 'Slum', nor bother to pick up a copy even when the DVD is marked down to a dollar and a half. It will remain sadly buried deep in a pile of DVDs, at the electronic section of your local department store, among the Claude Van Damms and Steven Segals, and those inexhaustable BBC adaptations of the English classics, begging to be yours at a throw-away price. But even you, who is known for shopping thriftly and generally will wait patiently for a couple of months for the movie to be released in DVD, and a few more years after that for it be marked down to one-fourth price, will give it a pass as you reach instead for Beethoven 3, for a laugh at the humongous dog that drools and slobbers at everything.

The King of Mangoes Canonized

According to recent news from the Vatican, the Alphonso, a variety of Indian mango, has been canonized. Why the Vatican would choose to canonize a fruit, one could hazard guesses all day long, and none would be wiser. But there is no denying that this particular king’s canonization is long overdue. This variety of mango, found most abundantly in the plains of the state of Maharashtra in Western India, was so named when the Portuguese conqueror Afonso de Albuquerque, falling victim to his taste buds, insisted that no other honour could do justice as ascribing this beguiling golden tempter of the palate with his own name. The name systematically underwent corruption, from Alphonso to Aphoos, Hapoos and Hatchoo, as the memories of the courageous and morally conscientious Portuguese leader, who wiped out thousands of infidels to restore the imbalances in the Christian-infidel ratio, faded from the minds of the ingrate natives. This sweet fruit has long been considered as the most precious to ever grace the fruit kingdom.

This golden yellow fruit’s distinct qualities - the sublimely rich sweetness, unparalleled by any natural, or artificial, sweetener in the world, its gentle aromatic scent, and smooth, soft juicy pulp - have contributed to its label as the King of Mangoes. But to the world’s populations that have had the privilege of tasting this fruit, even if only once in their lives, the fruit deserves a far worthier title than the mere King of Mangoes. To its endearing fans, it is the Royalty of the Fruitdom! Why should it not deserve canonization! Why the Vatican took this long to perform the simple deed of honouring such a distinguished royalty is beyond one’s comprehension; nonetheless it has been done finally, so let us rejoice in the prestige. As token of our appreciation, let us send a basket of the best of the golden Alphonsos we can find in the land to the Pope at the Vatican, with a small plain card – an Alphonso does not require a grand, ornate card; it speaks for itself! – which reads simply, "Thank you for bestowing such an honour on the Alphonso. Enjoy the fruits of your labour."